Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
