i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
