Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Randomize
