I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
