no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
