I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
