So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
