wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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