I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I need moral support for this bender
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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