so explain again why im purple
no
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
