Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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