I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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