dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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