I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
