idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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