1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
