Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
