I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
