Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
