the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I FOUND THE LEGS
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
