Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
