people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
