When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You are the jesus of drinking
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
