This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
