I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
