Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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