She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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