i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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