Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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