yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
