Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
