why didn't you poke me back
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
