That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
