saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I want her autograph on my taint
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
