I met the friendliest cop last night
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
