How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
