"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
nutella sex= disaster
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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