wakey wakey hands off snakey
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
