dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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