if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I need to align my fucking chakras
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
