definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
