In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
