If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
