if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
