I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
