i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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