Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
