butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
