My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
