Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
