$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
